Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Prego Teacher

I'm looking forward to the day when I don't have to tell people I'm pregnant. I am at the point in my pregnancy where those who know me see a very obvious bump, but those who don't just assume I'm fat.
The big reveal is awkward, no matter how many times I've done it, and I find that I'm telling more people than really need to know because I have an overwhelming urge to explain that I don't normally function at such a low level. For example, the barista at the coffee shop where I stopped today to get an iced tea didn't need to know that I'm pregnant, but how else can I explain that it takes me several minutes now to count out the money for my beverage because in the last 3 months my brain has turned into absolute sludge? Or, when I'm out of breath walking Daisy Dog when we used to run the same route with ease, I want to yell to people that I'm not some overweight slob that never makes it off the couch.
Last week I got to make the big reveal to my new principal. It went surprisingly well but I can't help feeling like I showed up as damaged goods. There is simply no way that I can do my job to the same caliber that I did last year.

Today was only the only official paid day of setup and prep before the students come tomorrow. I discovered today that I have turned into a weakling. Lifting stuff is so much more difficult than before. I'm hoping that this is because I have been more sedentary than normal, and it will improve if I follow through with exercising more. I also was completely wiped out by about noon today and had difficulty staying awake at my desk.

The biggest change is in my attitude. My job used to be my life and I was willing to take home a crap-ton of work. My students were my priority. Not anymore. That is now so far down on my to-do list and I am totally focused on becoming a mom and getting things done at home.

I am starting to be concerned... Will I be a sucky teacher this year?

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