Sunday, September 5, 2010

The Shotgun Wedding That Almost Didn't Happen

It was just a few days before my super fancy city hall wedding.  Surprisingly, I had about 20 family members respond to my equally fancy wedding invite and were taking the day off to come and watch us get married.  Why? Not sure.  We were kind of hoping it would just be the two of us and someone to sign as a witness, but family is nice too.

It was two days before the wedding and I hadn't heard anything from City Hall.  Now, I am not really sure how City Hall Weddings work, but I thought they might just call to make sure that the bride and groom still liked each other.  Fishy.  Being the incredibly responsible bride-to-be that I am, I gave them a quick call to confirm that we were scheduled to get married at 2:00 pm on September 3rd. 

They had no idea who I was.  FUCK!!!!

I was absolutely sure that the woman who was no telling me that they had no record of our existence was the same one who booked the appointment.  If I could have reached through the phone and strangled her dumb ass I would have. 

As calmly as I could, I explained that I had a pretty sizable group of people showing up for this shin-dig.  My voice must have been shaking pretty badly, because she agreed to speak to the person who performed the ceremonies and get back to me.  Between then and when I heard from her were the LONGEST 45 minutes of my life.  Luckily, they agreed to squeeze in a 3:00 appointment, since my 2:00 was gone, which leads me to suspect that this is not the first time this woman has completely lost track of a wedding.

The same thing happened with my hair appointment the day of the wedding, which left me in hysterical tears sitting on the sidewalk in the middle of downtown Davis.  Luckily, I didn't know this until I showed up, and my middle sister, whom you should know is an all-American college Rugby player, somehow managed to convince them to squeeze me in as well.  But by this time, I was pretty sure that I'd just made up the entire idea of a wedding.  Little sister called and confirmed that we are still scheduled at the courthouse at 3:00.


We were planning on getting married outside, but the weather didn't want to cooperate.  It was 102 degrees and I decided that pregnant ladies and heat don't mix.  We opted for the inside affair at the last minute.  When DH and I arrived, my entire family and two of his friends were there.

It amazes anyone who knows me or who has seen me leading a class full of 45 screaming teenagers, but I HATE TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION, which is a major contributing factor to why DH and I decided on going to City Hall.  I didn't realize that getting married there meant that my entire family would end up watching DH and I fill out the paperwork and then stand around (because there were no chairs in the room where we got married) and stare at us while we said our vows.  One of DH's friends teased me about my voice breaking up during the vows, but he didn't realize it was from nerves, not tears. 

Between the heat and the gawking, I look absolutely miserable in every picture that was taken of us that day.  Our poor baby is probably going to think that we only got married because we had to because she was coming. 

After the ceremony, we headed out to Buca di Beppo, where my parents were kind enough to buy dinner for the entire procession.  The food was good, and we got to sit together and talk and not be the center of attention, thanks again to the crazy attention whores (my sisters). 

Since we were planning on having a barbecue the next day for friends and other people who weren't able to make it, we offered our house to the fam, most of whom live a couple of hours away.  This gave us babysitters for Daisy Dog and the opportunity to have a one night "honeymoon" at the Citizen hotel.  We ended the night celebrating our marriage, and enjoying each others company. 

Though we already felt very committed to each other, it was very nice to have this last little thing taken care of before the baby comes.  I hope later she will understand that mommy and daddy never wanted a big wedding because it was about a marriage and the start of our new family.

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