Top Ten Thing I Wish I Would Have Known: First Trimester

In the last few weeks, a handful of friends have found themselves knocked up.  As was I, most are panicking as pregnancy has gone from being a wish to a reality.  I don't envy them at all.  I absolutely hated the entire first trimester of my pregnancy. 

The following is a list of things that I wish I would have known before I got myself knocked up.  They are all things that I really should have known, in hindsight.  But when you are thinking about having a baby, you aren't thinking about the crappy stuff.  You are thinking about giggles and cuddles and cute little baby socks.   I assure you, the first trimester has none of that fun stuff.

1. Early pregnancy feels a lot like the worst PMS ever.  I swear, I was absolutely positive that I would start my period at any second because I was a crazed hormonal bitch complete with crying and cramping and bloating.  I had terrible PMS as a teenager, and have been on birth control since, so I kind of thought that this was a symptom of being of the pill, rather than a sign of early pregnancy.  Nope.  I was so terribly grouchy and crampy that I even partook in a few glasses of wine the weekend before I found out, something which is definitely haunting.
2. Your body really doesn't need time to get the pill out of its system.  I got my BFP about 6 weeks after I stopped taking birth control.  I was pretty sure that I'd messed something up and it would take me forever to get pregnant because I'd been on the pill for so long.  Nope.  (BTW, I will never ever ever ever miss a pill!)
3. You don't have to be ovulating to get knocked up.  Confused?!?! Let me clarify.  Because I was so convinced that there was no way I could be ovulating so soon after stopping birth control, I started doing the daily pee sticks to find out if I was in fact ovulating.  DH and I had decided to stop trying to prevent pregnancy, but we weren't going to get all crazy about getting knocked up either.  We had sex the day before ovulation, not during, which I now know is a very good way of getting knocked up.
4. Its common to have a meltdown instead of being happy when you get your BFP.  I felt terrible for a long time that I was so miserable when I found out I was pregnant.  I felt overwhelmed.  And I felt like I was giving up my freedom.  Well duh.  I knew that going in, and still decided to have a baby, and still was upset about it when  I found out.  Since then, many friends have told me that they felt the same way.   I think it must have more than a little to do with the flood of hormones you experience, and, lets be honest, its an overwhelming experience.
5. Morning sickness is a complete misnomer.  Before I got myself knocked up, I pictured morning sickness to be kind of like it is in the movies.  I figured I'd go about my day until I felt suddenly ill, I'd puke and that would be the end of that.  Bullshit! I was nauseous all day, every day, from the moment I woke up, to the moment I fell asleep.  And I was dizzy all the time.  I pretty much just wanted to die from about 5 to 13 weeks.  But no vomit.  Nope.  None.  I even tried to make myself puke a few times, and nothing.   
6. Maintaining a healthy diet is much much harder than I thought it would be.  Because of the nausea, eating was incredibly difficult.  One would think this would prevent me from gaining tons of weight early on, but it had just the opposite effect.  I couldn't eat meat (or even smell it for that matter), or veggies without wanting to die.  Pretty much all I could stomach was fruit, sourdough bread by the loaf, and sugary foods (ice cream, doughnuts, an entire pack of chips ahoy cookies).  I don't normally even like sweets, but I couldn't put them down.  Forget about the all organic diet I had planned on following.  It was all crap, all the time.
7. Everything stinks.  Meat. Chinese food. Students.  Perfume. Cigarette smoke made me want to die.  And you can't tell anyone that you are being tortured by this new, overwhelming sense of smell because then they will totally know you are knocked up.  Suffering in silence doesn't help.
8. You will have to pee all of the time.  I had no idea that a baby no bigger than a pea could make me pee so much.  The first and third trimesters are the worst, and let me explain why.  As you can see in this ultrasound your uterus and bladder are next door neighbors.  Even this tiny change in size causes pressure on your bladder, increasing the number of times you have to go.  My doc explained that at some point early in the 2nd trimester, your uterus kind of pops over the top of your bladder, providing some relief until baby is significantly bigger.   

9. Everything makes you cramp.  Having to pee.  Having to poop.  Having gas.  Having sex.  Having an orgasm.  Sneezing.  All of a sudden, you'll feel like you are starting your period.  This made me constantly worry that the baby was going to fall out.  It didn't.
10. Did I mention that you will be a raving lunatic?  Though DH will disagree, my mood swings have subsided quite a bit since the first trimester.  Most of the time, I was pretty sure I hated him and I was trapped in a terrible relationship that I would have to now stay in because I was having this baby.  And there was crying.  Lots and lots of crying.  One time I cried because I couldn't eat anything except for PF Chang's, including anything from the countless similar places closer to home.  I felt bad making DH go get it for me, so I didn't eat.  And I then I cried about it.  Not just a little.  A lot.  Sobbing.  Hysterical.  To the point that I couldn't breathe.  DH pleaded with me to just let him go get me the damn food.  He would have gone anywhere at that point.  But nope, that made me cry more.  The worst part is that you know how crazy you are, but you just can't do anything about it. 

If you still want to have children, you are a braver woman than I.  I don't think I ever want to go through that again, but I'll tell you if its worth it after Bug makes her appearance.  Hopefully she'll be neat freak and clean up after me as soon as she can walk.  She'll later become a wealthy lawyer so that she can support mommy and her love of expensive cabernet savignon.  Then, maybe it'll be worth it. 

Luckily, like clockwork, right at about 13 weeks, it all got better.  The sun was shining, birds were chirping and I didn't want to stab DH anymore.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.   And soon you will forget just how terrible early pregnancy can be. 

But for now, you have been warned.

12 Weeks Pregnant

I'm now 12 weeks pregnant... just 28 more, or 195 days to go.  Hmmm.  That's a long way to go.  I was thinking this week would mark the end of my first trimester, which I have been so looking forward to, but it looks like I won't officially be done until the end of week 13.

I'm ready for the nausea to go away.  I was feeling pretty good at the beginning of week 11, but toward the end of the week, I was convinced most of the time that I was going to puke.  So far, still no vomit.  Just that terrible feeling. 

According to TheBump, the baby is now the size of a plum.  This plum is just starting to make my already chubby belly pouch a little more.  The bloat started early on, but now I'm having more than a little trouble buttoning my pants.  It doesn't help that I have always tried to mimic sausage by squeezing into the smaller size when given the choice between 2.   Thankfully, my first pair of maternity pants arrived the night before last via UPS.  I bought them because they were regularly $29 , on sale for $18.99 at Old Navy. I don't want to spend a ton of money on maternity clothes, so I snagged them right away, and it looks like I am going to need them sooner rather than later.  And I'll be investing in a Bella Band soon as well.   

My growing tummy is starting to get uncomfortable.  It feels tight, and I can nolonger sleep on my stomach, which is why I'm working on this post at 5 am on a Sunday.  I can't find a comfortable position to sleep in.  Luckily, by about 9 pm I've been so wiped out that falling asleep hasn't been a problem.  However, its been weeks since I made it a whole night without having to pee.  Falling back to sleep has been a major problem. 

On a plus side, for now at least, my boobs aren't in constant pain.  I have been dreading hugs and avoiding my pouncing pets wishing I could wear armor.  DF grabbed them last night, as he is doing more and more as they get bigger and bigger, and I didn't cry out in pain.  BTW, why does he act like I'm faking when I tell him they hurt?!?!   

I'm starting to take belly pictures.  I know, it looks like I'm about 6 months along, but I had most of the squish before we started baby making.  Imagine the bottom bump being roughly the size of the bump between the baby and my boobs.  I kind of wish I had taken some before pics, or at least earlier along, but this will have to do.  And the angle is funny, but this is harder than it looks.  I tried to do it using the bathroom mirror, but it's too dirty, and I'm too lazy to clean it. 

While we have had some thrilling experiences so far (first and second ultrasound, hearing the heartbeat, seeing baby move on the ultrasound), I'm ready to move on.  I want to feel the baby move and find out what kind we are having so I cant start buying fun stuff.  The waiting is driving me nuts, but there is alot more waiting to come.  

One final thought... aside from a few select people, we are not revealing our top baby names.  I'm going to name my baby whatever I want, and I have gotten more than enough unsolicited feedback on the names we are thinking about.  So I have developed a new standard response.  When someone asks what we will name the baby, I simply say, "Carlos". 

 

Baby, Baby, Baby

While DF has been telling everyone that we are expecting, I have been much more reserved. The biggest reason is that I have been TERRIFIED that something would go wrong. In fact, when I called for our first appointment, and they told me that I would need to wait until I was 8 weeks along, I asked the advice nurse, "Are you sure it will be okay until then?". She replied, "This is your first pregnancy, isn't it?" Damnit, already outted as a nervous new mommy.
At our 8 week appointment they had me take a pregnancy test. Although I'd taken several over a few days myself, it had been a few weeks. What if I wasn't even pregnant? I checked to make sure that the test was positive before the doc came in.

The doctor asked about a million questions before performing the ultrasound. And there, up on the screen, was the most beautiful little thing I had ever seen, a little blob with a gigantic head and arm and a huge belly. I sobbed uncontrollably, while the doctor took several measurements, informing me that I was 8 weeks, 2 days pregnant. We were able to listen to the rapid thump, thump, thump of baby's heartbeat, which was an insane 189 bpm. Doc informed us that while a normal range is 100-169 bpm, babies sometimes get a little upset by the vaginal ultrasound, causing their heartrate to spike.

Then we went over all the screening options. What genetic disorders would I like to be tested for? We decided that we would do a first trimester blood screening, an NT ultrasound, and a quad screening and avoid more invasive diagnostic tests unless the results to the screening tests brought bad news.

Yesterday, I had the NT ultrasound. At first the baby was sleeping, but after a little pushing on my belly, baby woke up and started kicking and pounding fists like crazy. The NT was normal, though we need to wait a week for the final results, and we were able to confirm that baby has 2 arms and 2 legs and a normal heartbeat. Later, I had a physical to review lab results. The NP wanted to hear the baby's heartbeat, but said it was moving too much to do it with the doppler (I think thats what it was) alone, so I got to do a second ultrasound! Best day ever. We confirmed that I have quite a wiggly worm on my hands.  And she is teeny tiny... only 5.22 cm!

So, the good news we got yesterday makes me feel more relaxed about being a little more "out" about my pregnancy. Will be posting frantically!