35 Weeks ~ Crunch time

I have been feeling very relaxed for the last few weeks up my pregnancy.  Last weekend was my baby shower, which did so much to help me feel like we are prepared for this baby.  I went to Target and got the last few essentials that I felt like just in case she fell out early. (BTW, you may notice that I have and will continue to refer to giving birth as "when the baby falls out".  I'm hoping it will be a self fulfilling prophecy.)

However, yesterday I logged into the Bump and saw that I only have 35 days left.  5 weeks sounds like a lot more than 35 days in my crazy pregnant mind.  I also realized that Bug will be full term in only 2 more weeks.  It still doesn't feel real and I really can't imagine that we will have a baby so soon. 

I am now, as I have been throughout my pregnancy, counting the days until the next milestone that will give her the best chance of doing well at birth.  At this point, days make a huge difference in how well she'll survive outside of the whom.  So although I'm looking forward to meeting Bug, I'd like her to do more cooking.

I'm so close to the end of my pregnancy that, due to the timing, I really only have to work for another week.  I wanted to be a teacher, in part, because it gives me plenty of breaks for mommy time and that thought is paying off big time now.  I have one more week until we are off for two weeks (hooray for winter break).  When we return its only two weeks until my due date, and 10 weeks until we are off for Spring Break (another two weeks off, love this schedule).  I'm planning on going back after the break, but preparing for not going back. 

That means, crunch time.  This is the stack of paperwork I need to get through before going to work tomorrow.

On top of that, I have 10 weeks of lesson plans to write by Thursday when I meet with my sub. 

It doesn't help that I've been feeling pretty crappy this weekend.  I feel dehydrated, a little dizzy and nauseous and physically exhausted.  I haven't been taking great care of myself and have been eating out ALOT  because well, see for yourself....

Pardon the crappy camera phone pics, but I'm two lazy to take/download pictures with my actual camera right now. 

Swollen doesn't even begin to describe my ankles and feet.  I thought swelling would be an annoyance, but its actually pretty painful.  The skin is stretched so tight that it feels like its going to rip. 

I also have baby brain, bad.  I don't want to think about anything except getting ready for the baby, which is why I'm blogging and not working right now. 

Did I mention I have a yoga and newborn care class that I'm supposed to be going to this week, too?  I just need to get through this week, and life will be a whole lot easier.

Mommy and Daddy Never Agree ~ Breastfeeding

DH and I discovered very early on in our relationship that we are polar opposites.  He's clean, I'm messy.  He's organized, I'm chaotic.  He's conservative, I'm anything but.  However, we have somehow managed to always find a way to get to a middle ground and come to terms we both can live with.  (ie, there will be no discussion of politics unless someone really wants to sleep in the guest bedroom)  Why should anything about raising this child together be different?

Take breastfeeding.  I just assumed this is something we would do and didn't even really discuss it with DH because I assumed he felt the same way.  Why wouldn't he? 

I should start by saying that DH is 12 years older than me, and his mother is no longer with us, so the ideas that he has about how he was raised and the things his parents did are completely from his memory.  Based on when he was born and from what he remembers about his family, his mother didn't breastfeed and the idea seemed a little weird to him.  He didn't know the benefits and in his own internet research, he learned from who-knows-where, that there are no benefits to breastfeeding over formula feeding... what?!?!?!   Where he found this, I don't know.

My OB recommended a list of more reliable internet resources for him to look up the benefits of breastfeeding, and after looking them up, he decided he was on board.  Until I registered for a breast pump.

"Why do you need that?" 
"So can still breastfeed when I go to work." Duh!
"You're still going to breastfeed when you're working?"

Really?!?!

He hasn't been unsupportive in any way, but every time we talk about it, it is obvious that we are coming from two very different directions.  When we talked about how long, he'd only pictured that I'd do it until I went back to work and the idea that you can send breastmilk to daycare completely baffled him.

Please remind me to keep breathing!
 

Safety 1st Pro Grade Lever Handle Lock: Nesting and Pregnant Brain Prove to Be a Poor Match

I have been in full on nesting mode for weeks now.  Since I've been less than helpful around the house, I haven't wanted to bug DH with projects I think I can do myself.  So far, it hasn't gone well.

The latest snafu happened after I started hearing strange noises coming from down the hall.  It was kind of a thump THUMP boing that was happening over and over again.  Since it was past my new pregnant lady bedtime (8:00 pm... yep, it's sad), I didn't feel like getting up and let it go.  After awhile it stopped, so I didn't worry about it.

The next morning, the door to Bug's bedroom, which is always closed was wide open.  This is what I found.

Apparently what I'd been hearing was repeated attempts by these two to open the door.  Stupid lever door handles.  Good thing I got Bug's co-sleeper set up and ready to go.  BTW, this is before they noticed that I was there.  As soon as they did, they avoided eye contact, acting like I'd caught them in the act.  Since then, I've caught George (the striped one) spooning that ladybug pillow pet on several occassions.

Because they have become quite good at working together to get the door open and since my biggest baby fear is that one of these ding-dongs is going to spoon Bug and suffocate her, I decided it was time to do some baby proofing.  With a little bit of research, and a trip to target,  decided to go with the Safety 1st Pro Grade Lever Handle Lock.  Should have read the reviews a little better.

Like I said, my projects have not been going well but the installation seemed pretty idiot proof, so WTH.  I was very proud to have done a fantastic job of installing... see.. look!

That's exactly what I told DH when he came upstairs to see what I was doing, and decided to test my work by shutting the door.  I'm sure you see where this is going.

Of course, it didn't shut because it ran directly into the door frame.  Had I installed this on the other side of the door, it would have worked fine, but would have been completely ineffective in doing anything other than locking myself into the baby's room.

DH helped me take it off and informed me that he prefer that I consult him before starting any more projects.

My next one will be finding the right color white paint to match the door.  

Baby Carriers

When we were registering for our baby shower, DH looked completely and totally overwhelmed by Babies R Us.  I've never seen him look so confused as we walked through, aisle by aisle as I tried to explain to him what all the stuff was for and why we might need it.  Not that I had any idea, but I did a great job of faking it.

We finally got to baby carriers and when he saw this Bjorn he commented on how cool it looked.  Since this was the first thing I'd heard from him since we'd entered the store, I decided we were getting this damn baby carrier no matter what. 

Had I seen this video, I may have reconsidered.  Hindsight is 20/20.  Please note how everyone in the video is wearing black, red and white.  Now, for your viewing pleasure... a youtube video illustrating the amazing things you can do with this baby carrier.



Yesterday was our shower, and WOOHOOH, DH got the one thing he asked for!  He was once again overwhelmed by the massive amount of baby crap strewn around our house so I suggested that he try it on.
Mistake.

DH is 6'1 and not a tiny man.  While we were able to extend the straps enough to get it closed around him, he looked like Chris Farley in Tommy Boy doing "Fat Guy in a Little Coat" .  He voluntered to starve himself until the baby gets here, but in all honesty it isn't that he's too fat, he's just too big.  It sits in a very uncomfortably on his ribs.  No good.  Many customers also complain that it causes back pain and a sweaty baby.  (And in all fairness there are a lot of great reviews)

Possible solutions:

• Extenders for the Bjorn.  So far, haven't found anything but mentions of these.
• The Ergo.  Ergo seems  like it might do the trick.  It looks like it will fit lower on the waist and they offer a waist extension for $8 on amazon.  DH mentioned that this one doesn't look as cool.
• Sleepy Wrap. I ordered one of these for me because my sister raved about them.  You can also use them for breastfeeding.  It is highly adjustable, and based on my research it looks like this is something that has worked for a lot of new parents who aren't so small.  Mine is on its way, and I'll let you know more when I get it.

What do you think?   Any advise on getting a properly fitting carrier for DH?

UPDATE:

The sleepy wrap is working well for DH, but he doesn't really carry the baby much yet.  The Ergo will work with an extender, so we are going to get one for the spring when we are out and about more.

What I'm Thankful For

This is a little belated (Thanksgiving was yesterday), but I have so much to be Thankful for this holiday season.

I am thankful for:

• My Amazing Husband.  I never pictured how the stress of pregancy could potentially affect our relationship.  I have, at more times that I am proud of, been a completely controlling maniacal emotional wreck, and somehow, this man still continues to love me.  He tells me I'm beautiful even though I'm gigantic.  He works hard to make me feel good and stays by my side even when I am crying hysterically for no apparent reason.  And just yesterday, while we were making the 2+ hour drive to my mom's for dinner, he grabbed my hand and told me how happy he was to be married to me.  It has been hard being pregnant and newly married, but I can't imagine going through any of this without him.
• My health and fertility.  I joke A LOT about how we never planned on getting pregnant this quickly and having a little less time to prep for Bug has been terrifying at times.  But I know so many people who have had trouble TTC and I feel incredibly lucky to be in this position.
• My family.  They drive me nuts.  They are over involved.  They take over every situation.  And they are completely and totally supportive and wonderful.  They have even worked out a schedule to watch Bug between the time my maternity leave ends and summer break begins so that we don't have to put her into daycare.
• Our pets.  There is nothing better than coming home to a house full of fluffies after a crappy day.

What are you thankful for?

Maternity Leave

I know I waited WAY to long to talk to my district about maternity leave.  My doctor has been asking me about what I plan on doing for maternity leave for the last few appointments now, and I have no idea.   Just dealing with a new job, a new marriage and the day-to-day woes of pregnancy are enough to make anyone crazy.  On Thursday, with the upcoming break looming, I decided it was definitely time to haul my ever growing arse to the district office.

What I found out was not horrible, but it wasn't exactly good either.  And it is incredible confusing.  It took the woman in HR about 20 minutes to explain it to me before I figured out what the hell she was talking about. 

I will get 6 weeks of maternity leave for a normal birth and 8 weeks leave for a C-section.  Pay for maternity leave only kicks in after sick days are used up.  However, these sick days, if taken after the baby is born, run concurrently with your maternity leave.  This means days taken prior to maternity leave don't count against your leave, but they can't be added on to your leave either. 
Right now, I have 16 sick days accrued, which roughly works out to about 3 weeks.  During the remaining 3-5 weeks, depending on the type of delivery, I qualify for something called differential pay.  This means, the pay for my sub comes out of my pay, and I get the difference.  Subs are paid $150/day unless they are given daily lesson plans and then they are paid $120 per day. 

FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) allows for all employees to take up to 12 weeks, unpaid, for the birth of a child.  After my maternity leave is over, I can take the remainder of time (up to those 12 weeks) unpaid.

Confused yet?

This is what it means.  The good:

• As long as the baby isn't born prior to winter break (starting December 18th) all of the leave options I have will more than cover the 10 weeks between when school starts up again in January and spring break in March.  Spring break is 2 weeks.  This means I won't be working full time until the baby is almost 3 months old!  Sweet.

The bad:

• I'll be returning to work, no matter what happens, with 0 sick days.
• In order to make the extra $30/day, I'm going to have to still be responsible for what happens in my classroom.  This means grading, planning and the like.  The sub will just be acting as a body to prevent students from shanking each other and to deliver assignments.

The so-so:

• There is no benefit to me hanging out at work for as long as I can since my sick days, used prior to the birth, won't count against my maternity leave.

I had a mini-melt down when I got home from work.  Luckily, DH is still the best husband ever, and helped me realize that the worst parts of this deal will make life a little inconvenient.  DH agreed that he will save as much sick leave as he can to make sure that he can take time off with Bug if she needs anything between spring break and summer. 

The space between spring break and summer is only 9 weeks, thanks to our funky schedule.  Now I just have to figure out what to do with Bug for that time.  DH can cover some days, but he's the boss at his job and there isn't anyone to do his job if he isn't there.  I don't want to put Bug into daycare until she is 6 months old if I can avoid it, but we'll do what we have to do.

The Shotgun Wedding That Almost Didn't Happen

It was just a few days before my super fancy city hall wedding.  Surprisingly, I had about 20 family members respond to my equally fancy wedding invite and were taking the day off to come and watch us get married.  Why? Not sure.  We were kind of hoping it would just be the two of us and someone to sign as a witness, but family is nice too.

It was two days before the wedding and I hadn't heard anything from City Hall.  Now, I am not really sure how City Hall Weddings work, but I thought they might just call to make sure that the bride and groom still liked each other.  Fishy.  Being the incredibly responsible bride-to-be that I am, I gave them a quick call to confirm that we were scheduled to get married at 2:00 pm on September 3rd. 

They had no idea who I was.  FUCK!!!!

I was absolutely sure that the woman who was no telling me that they had no record of our existence was the same one who booked the appointment.  If I could have reached through the phone and strangled her dumb ass I would have. 

As calmly as I could, I explained that I had a pretty sizable group of people showing up for this shin-dig.  My voice must have been shaking pretty badly, because she agreed to speak to the person who performed the ceremonies and get back to me.  Between then and when I heard from her were the LONGEST 45 minutes of my life.  Luckily, they agreed to squeeze in a 3:00 appointment, since my 2:00 was gone, which leads me to suspect that this is not the first time this woman has completely lost track of a wedding.

The same thing happened with my hair appointment the day of the wedding, which left me in hysterical tears sitting on the sidewalk in the middle of downtown Davis.  Luckily, I didn't know this until I showed up, and my middle sister, whom you should know is an all-American college Rugby player, somehow managed to convince them to squeeze me in as well.  But by this time, I was pretty sure that I'd just made up the entire idea of a wedding.  Little sister called and confirmed that we are still scheduled at the courthouse at 3:00.

We were planning on getting married outside, but the weather didn't want to cooperate.  It was 102 degrees and I decided that pregnant ladies and heat don't mix.  We opted for the inside affair at the last minute.  When DH and I arrived, my entire family and two of his friends were there.

It amazes anyone who knows me or who has seen me leading a class full of 45 screaming teenagers, but I HATE TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION, which is a major contributing factor to why DH and I decided on going to City Hall.  I didn't realize that getting married there meant that my entire family would end up watching DH and I fill out the paperwork and then stand around (because there were no chairs in the room where we got married) and stare at us while we said our vows.  One of DH's friends teased me about my voice breaking up during the vows, but he didn't realize it was from nerves, not tears. 

Between the heat and the gawking, I look absolutely miserable in every picture that was taken of us that day.  Our poor baby is probably going to think that we only got married because we had to because she was coming. 

After the ceremony, we headed out to Buca di Beppo, where my parents were kind enough to buy dinner for the entire procession.  The food was good, and we got to sit together and talk and not be the center of attention, thanks again to the crazy attention whores (my sisters). 

Since we were planning on having a barbecue the next day for friends and other people who weren't able to make it, we offered our house to the fam, most of whom live a couple of hours away.  This gave us babysitters for Daisy Dog and the opportunity to have a one night "honeymoon" at the Citizen hotel.  We ended the night celebrating our marriage, and enjoying each others company. 

Though we already felt very committed to each other, it was very nice to have this last little thing taken care of before the baby comes.  I hope later she will understand that mommy and daddy never wanted a big wedding because it was about a marriage and the start of our new family.