DH and I discovered very early on in our relationship that we are polar opposites. He's clean, I'm messy. He's organized, I'm chaotic. He's conservative, I'm anything but. However, we have somehow managed to always find a way to get to a middle ground and come to terms we both can live with. (ie, there will be no discussion of politics unless someone really wants to sleep in the guest bedroom) Why should anything about raising this child together be different?
Take breastfeeding. I just assumed this is something we would do and didn't even really discuss it with DH because I assumed he felt the same way. Why wouldn't he?
I should start by saying that DH is 12 years older than me, and his mother is no longer with us, so the ideas that he has about how he was raised and the things his parents did are completely from his memory. Based on when he was born and from what he remembers about his family, his mother didn't breastfeed and the idea seemed a little weird to him. He didn't know the benefits and in his own internet research, he learned from who-knows-where, that there are no benefits to breastfeeding over formula feeding... what?!?!?! Where he found this, I don't know.
My OB recommended a list of more reliable internet resources for him to look up the benefits of breastfeeding, and after looking them up, he decided he was on board. Until I registered for a breast pump.
"Why do you need that?"
"So can still breastfeed when I go to work." Duh!
"You're still going to breastfeed when you're working?"
He hasn't been unsupportive in any way, but every time we talk about it, it is obvious that we are coming from two very different directions. When we talked about how long, he'd only pictured that I'd do it until I went back to work and the idea that you can send breastmilk to daycare completely baffled him.
Please remind me to keep breathing!