Current Weight: 204 pounds
Change from Last Week: +3
Pregnancy Weight Lost: 23 Pounds
Next Goal: 186 pounds
Bug's Weight: 8 pounds 11.2 ounces
Next Week's Goal: 9 pounds, 1 ounce
If you've ever been concerned about your weight, you've had a moment like this. You step on the scale and ugh.....it feels like someone has punched you in the chest. You feel fat, discouraged, and more than a little helpless.
I guess those days of dropping an ass-ton of weight without doing anything different are over. Darn. I liked those. Now I have to decide what to do.
I have been spending a LOT of time thinking about weight. That, and breastfeeding, are taking up most of the mental space not allocated to the moment to moment care of her Bugness. You may have noticed I have included her weight as well. Why? She is also having a bit of a weight issue. Hers is the opposite of mine. At her three week appointment, her pediatrician told me that she isn't gaining wieght quickly enough. He'd like to see her gaining about 3/4 of an ounce a day, and in the last 11 days, she'd only gained 5 ounces. Breastfeeding isn't going well, but I'll be spending plenty of time talking about that.
Its been a VERY long time since I've been happy with my weight and I have wanted to do something about it for awhile. And I have changed many of my eating habits, lost quite a bit of weight, and gained a chunk of it back while pregnant. No big deal. I can live with that.
I know how to loose weight. In fact, I am great at it. In the past, I have had a TON of success with Weight Watchers. I lost 30+ pounds. I can get back into the 160's pretty easily and I know if I stuck with the program, I'd easily be able to get to my goal weight.
But I can't stick with it.
Having a daughter has changed the way I think about my weight. I worry about her modeling her eating habits after my own and it scares me.
I am a serial dieter.
I eat like crap for a few months until my weight gets to where I can't tolerate it anymore. Then I diet. Then it gets old and I stop. Then I eat like crap for a few months. The cycle continues. I gain and lose the same 10, 15, 20 pounds over and over and over again.
This is me this morning, trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans that was practically falling off of me before I got pregnant. Don't worry, that skin you see isn't crotch or tummy or anything gross like that. Its my leg. I barely got these suckers over my knees.
Yes, I just had a baby. Yes, it will take time to loose that weight. But if I'm being honest, I let myself get completely out of control and ate whatever the hell I wanted during my pregnancy. I continued my unhealthy relationship with food.
And it has to stop.
Because I don't want my daughter to have this feeling.
So, what do I do about it?
My first thought was to go back to Weight Watchers.
And then I read this post by Colleen over at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans. Colleen discusses what we all know... that diets don't work. Focusing on healthy living does.
What do I want to model for my daughter? Do I want her to see me on a diet? Or do I want to model a healthy lifestyle?
Of course, I want to model a healthy lifestyle.
Will Weight Watchers help me do that?
Not sure. It has helped me learn to eat fruits and veggies. It has helped me to eat whole grains and high protein foods. But so far, it hasn't helped me make a lifestyle change. It hasn't turned into more than a diet for me.
I know there is a new program out. If anyone can fill me in on the changes, I'd love to hear your feedback.
But for the next week, I'm going to set a few goals to make minor changes in my lifestyle. Here are my goals for the week:
- I will find a way to eat breakfast. I haven't been eating until around noon everyday because mornings are, um, challenging. Any suggestions for easy breakfast ideas would be greatly appreciated.
- I will go grocery shopping and make dinner at least once this week in an attempt to get back to my goal of distraction free dining at night.
- I will exercise at least once.
We'll see how it goes.